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24 Skills Teachers Don’t Learn in College But Really Need

24 Skills Teachers Don’t Learn in College But Really Need

When you get a degree in education, there are so many skills teachers are prepared to learn and practice. How to build a classroom community, how to plan engaging lessons, how to incorporate technology. You learn these strategies, master them, and implement them naturally in your daily teaching practice.

And that’s all it takes to become a teacher, right???

Nope.

While you might leave college ready to teach, you’re not a true teacher until you’ve realized how unprepared you actually are for the hilarious things that happen when you work with kids.

Here are skills teachers had to learn on their own:

  1. Keeping it together after you repeat the same directions for the 57th time. Maybe we should just plan to record ourselves giving the directions the first time so we can play it on repeat.
  2. Giving the perfect teacher look. There really needs to be a full week of a teaching program devoted to studying and practicing the art of the teacher look.
  3. Knowing when to laugh at a random story you’re not listening to. Look, we love our kids and their stories, but it is a true skill to convince Brandon that you’re listening to the newest anecdote about his pet chinchilla.
  4. Googling yourself so you know what your students will find. And potentially emailing websites to ask if they can take down something particularly unattractive.
  5. Avoiding parents and students in non-school contexts. Whether you’re shopping for lingerie or buying alcohol, you need to be on high alert at all times.
  6. Not getting offended when kids tell you that you look tired. Coffee and makeup are powerful, but you need to be ready to accept that they’re not magical.
  7. Going far too long without bathroom breaks. Every teaching program should have a three-hour seminar where bathroom breaks are prohibited.
  8. Pretending you’re not phased by bodily fluids, smells, and sounds. Kids are nasty, and teachers need to be ready for that.
  9. Acting shocked when you receive another mug to add to your extensive collection. Of course we appreciate getting gifts, but we were never told that mugs would invade our living spaces.
  10. Keeping a straight face when a kid says something inappropriate but hilarious. Honestly, I think teachers need a whole course taught by an acting coach.
  11. Nodding your head to act like you’re listening in professional development. When you feel your eyes glazing in yet another staff meeting that should have been an email, you need to be prepared to pretend that you’re paying attention. 
  12. Keeping up with the newest relationship drama. We love the drama, but we didn’t know quite how constant it would be.
  13. Saying something is graded when you have no plans to look at it ever again. Before graduating, every teacher should accept that lying is now a huge part of their life. Yes, lying is one of the skills teachers should be taught at college.
  14. Having the sleep schedule of a 90-year-old. Let’s encourage education majors to embrace their inner grandma so they can go to bed before 9 pm with absolutely zero shame.
  15. Disguising bad words. Teaching programs should require their students to use random word generators so they’re ready with phrases like “what the fudgesicles?” “holy crab cakes,” and “mother of pearl!” It’s like we spend our days in The Good Place.
  16. Staying composed when a parent asks to set up a phone call. It is way too scary when the parent communication shifts from an email to a phone call and we were not prepared for that.
  17. Receiving criticism for being single. Who knew our students would constantly suggest that we date their parents, siblings, and other teachers?
  18. Telling kids not to procrastinate even though you planned your lesson seven minutes before it started. Maybe we need a course to help us accept our inner hypocrite.
  19. Smiling while receiving unhelpful advice from admin. Our teaching programs should have prepared us with phrases like, “That’s a great idea. I’m looking forward to implementing that soon!”
  20. Hearing students guess our age without crying. Kids have no sense of age, and teachers should know that to a kid, there’s very little difference between 25 and 47.
  21. Staying up to date on the trends. Teachers need to be ready to Google the latest trends and slang, and to figure out what’s not cool anymore.
  22. Solving the hardest puzzle of all – seating charts. Teachers should do practice seating charts where they get a list of students, some adjectives to describe them, and how different combinations of people will be distracting in different ways.
  23. Going off the grid. No one realizes that their social media isn’t private until it’s too late.
  24. Scaring other people when you tell them about all of “your kids.” Will they drive you crazy? Sometimes. But will you love them and miss them when they leave? Absolutely.

 

Kids are so hilariously unpredictable, so there was no way for us to be prepared for our future lives as teachers. But maybe every education program should have an intro course called “Teaching: Expect the Unexpected.”

 

Source From BoredTeacher